No Time for JAVA

Lyrics by Herb Sutter

I've tried Pascal, time after time
I've done my COBOL but committed no crime
C pointer mistakes, I've made a few
I've had my share of Lisp and Haskel and Scheme but I still haven't a Clu
(and on and on and on and on)

We are the champions, O Bjarne!
And we'll keep compiling till the end
You've made us champions, we are the champions
No time for Java 'cause we are the champions
Of the world!

I've taken my macros, and my function calls
I've enjoyed speed and performance and everything that goes with C, I love them all
But C's been no bed of roses, and Ada's no pleasure cruise
I want abstraction and optimization both, so I ain't gonna use...
(and on and on and on and on)